Mend Read online

  Mend

  Copyright © 2015 Autumn Grey

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, or persons living or dead, is coincidental. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment. Thank you for respecting the authors work.

  All rights reserved including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means.

  Cover design: LM Creations

  Edited: Hot Tree Editing, Amanda L. Pederick

  Formatting: Champagne Formats

  Table of Contents

  Other Books

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Other books by this author:

  Havoc (Havoc #1) Released December 2, 2014

  Obliterate (Havoc #2) Released January 2015

  I WAS living and breathing my worst nightmare.

  Three hours.

  Three hours since the doctors wheeled Selene into the operating room. I hadn’t heard from anyone. She was in there, fighting for her life.

  Selene. The woman I had vowed to protect; yet there was nothing I could do to save her. Heal her. Take away whatever pain she was going through.

  I pulled out the letter from my shirt’s front pocket. I had written to her a few days ago when I woke up before dawn, unable to sleep. I hadn’t had the nerve to give it to her at that time and I’d been planning on surprising her before she left for the assignment in Berlin.

  Taking a deep breath, I reread the words, the honesty in them leaving me breathless.

  Merde! Everything was completely fucked-up. But I was going to make it right.

  Folding the letter neatly, I slipped it back inside the pocket and turned to face Adrien, sleeping on the couch. I pulled the cotton sheet provided by one of the nurses up to his chin and then ran my hand down his hair, pushing the dark curls off his face. The last forty-eight hours had been a tremendous trial on him. Having him near me gave me a sense of control. He had spent the last hours sobbing into my shoulder and for the first time in my life, I felt vulnerable. Not even when my father had threatened me, taken a belt to my back, had I felt this vulnerable. I had stood tall and taken whatever he’d thrown at me. But now, shit. Everything was a bloody fucking mess.

  I leaned back on the chair, thinking back on the past few weeks. From the moment I saw Selene in the hotel, our first lunch in the Tuilleries Gardens, dancing in the club and how her eyes had lit up when she’d realized she was dancing with me. I still couldn’t believe how fast I had dropped my guard when I was around her, even though I’d known her for only a few days.

  Rage boiled through my veins as scene after scene of what happened to Selene played in my head. From the moment I took Adrien to bed a few hours ago, the damn PA had gone off, announcing Dr. Blanchett was needed in Selene’s room. There had been a flurry of activity from the medical team surrounding her bed as they tried to help her. I should have protected her better.

  But I didn’t.

  And now here we were, waiting to know her fate.

  I dragged my fingers through my hair, tugged it back, savoring the pain. It grounded me.

  “Monsieur St. Germain?”

  My head snapped up and I shot to my feet as Dr. Blanchett came to stand in front of me. His face was void of any expression.

  Merde!

  I was shaking and my heart was pounding hard. I clenched my hands into fists at my sides. “How is she?” I asked in a hoarse voice.

  “Let’s sit down.” He motioned to the seat I had vacated just a few seconds ago.

  My legs gave way and I grabbed the chair arm to support myself as I sat down, dropped my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes closed. “God, no.”

  The couch dipped as a weight settled beside me. “Monsieur St. Germain.”

  Deep breaths.

  Deep fucking breaths.

  He cleared his throat. “The surgery went well. We managed to get the swelling under control before any damage was done.”

  Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I lifted my head from my hands and slowly turned to look at the doctor. “So, she’s going to be all right?”

  He nodded, smiling faintly. “Right now we have everything under control.”

  I exhaled loudly. “Dieu merci. Is she . . . Can we see her?”

  He leaned forward, lips pursed, frowning. My chest tightened in pain as different kinds of scenarios flashed through my head, each one worse than the next.

  God, no. Please don’t do this to me. Don’t take her away.

  “We’re keeping her in the ICU to monitor her for a few hours.” He steepled his fingers, looked away then back at me. “There’s something you need to know first. She remained unconscious the entire time. She barely reacted to any outward stimulation on the tests we did.”

  Cold sweat broke out all over my body. “What are you trying to tell me, Doctor?”

  He inhaled deeply and said, “She is in a coma.”

  “Wait, you said she was okay, oui? That you have everything under control.”

  “We do. But that doesn’t mean she’s out of danger. The next few days are critical and we will do everything we can to make sure she comes out of this all right.”

  I blew out a breath, my gaze wandering to my son. “How long will she be in this condition?”

  “It’s impossible to predict when she will emerge from the coma. We just have to keep an eye on her.” He sighed, looking weary. “Why don’t you and your son get some rest and come back later to visit your wife? We organized for two policemen to guard her room for the next few days as per your request.”

  I nodded, eyeing Adrien. He needed a good night’s rest and food. He also needed a break from being inside at the hospital. I straightened on my chair. My son deserved better care. I wasn’t going to lose it now. Selene and Adrien needed me. “I’ll be adding my own security guards to the watch team.” I didn’t know who to trust anymore.

  After he shook my hand, he reassured me he would call if anything came up. He then left. I pulled out my mobile from my pocket and dialed Èric’s number. He’d arrived an hour ago in Marseilles by car and had booked us a suite in a hotel not far from the hospital.

  After making plans for him to pick us up and add more security for Selene, I scooped Adrien into my arms and left the waiting room that had been our home for the past forty-eight hours.

  WAKE UP, Selene.

  Wake up. I want to see your eyes, ma belle.

  My eyes blink open in a room with white walls and big windows, but for some reason I can’t see the owner of that voice, so familiar. Comforting. Why can’t I see him?

  Where am I?

  I glance around, searching for that voice. The voice urging me to open my eyes in desperate, fervent whispers. But I can’t find the face.

  Ma belle. I need you to come back to me. I miss you. God, I’m so sorry.

  I try to turn my head, but for some reason, I can’t.

  The voice once aga
in encourages me to open my eyes. But they are open, aren’t they? I blink just to make sure. Yes, I’m awake.

  Why does the owner of that voice sound so sad? And why is he sorry?

  A movement followed by a soft giggle, so soft it feels as if I imagined it, interrupts me, momentarily distracting me from the man pleading with me to come back to him. I turn my head and gasp. Blink. I scrutinize that face, pert little nose, tiny mouth, smiling at me, a dimple on the chin, blue eyes. I home in on the nose that’s slightly upturned at the tip and the eyes. Very familiar eyes. James’ eyes, just like I had imagined they would look like before she was born. The thought of him brings a twinge of pain and nothing more. Nothing like the soul-crushing pain I’d experienced when I found out about him and my best friend.

  My sweet baby, Ines, named after my mother. I remember the look on my mother’s face when I told her we were naming the baby after her. I had never seen her more happy and proud than that particular moment.

  But how—how is my baby here? How is this even possible? She was still unborn when I lost her. Am I in a dream? God, why are you doing this to me?

  The baby smiles, kicks her tiny legs and waves her hands, cooing.

  I blink again to make sure what I’m seeing is real. Oh, my God, it is real. I shift and turn on my side, and slowly reach my hand toward her face. And I touch her. I touch her and she lets me. Her eyes close for a single second as if savoring my touch.

  She is real.

  “Hey, my beautiful, perfect girl,” I whisper, my eyes burning with tears. “I’ve missed you so, so much.” I trace my finger along the soft curve of her cheek. I don’t let myself doubt how real her being here is, because the thought of her not being here with me kills me every single time. So I simply smile and stare at her.

  “I’ve thought about you for so many days, months, years. You sweet baby girl, you. I love you so much, and I’ve missed you terribly. Stay with me, please.” I’m so afraid to touch her again, worried she will disappear, and so I settle in and study her precious face.

  Stay with me, please.

  YESTERDAY WAS a trying day for Adrien and me. I returned to the hospital five hours later with a restless Adrien by my side. Once rested, he couldn’t settle down until we visited Selene.

  Today, Èric took him to a local indoor playground, which seemed to lighten his mood considerably. He’s already made a few friends, one of the things he seemed to look forward to during the day.

  I glanced at Selene, her expression relaxed. Peaceful. The only sounds filling the room were the beeps from the ECG machine whenever Selene’s heart rate went dangerously low or high, the hiss and whoosh of the ventilator and the shuffling feet from the hospital staff outside the door. The doctor mentioned there was a chance she could hear whatever was happening around her so I continued to caress the back of her hand with my thumb and talk to her as I’d been doing since I walked inside the room.

  “You didn’t tell me you had a flair for dramatics, ma belle.” I imagined her laughing at my words. “Andrew and Grace called to check on you. They miss you and send their love. Did I ever tell you how Andrew and I met? I was in a bar in Paris, drowning my troubles in alcohol. He’d walked in just as a woman was about to rob me blind.

  “After saving my arse, he put me in a taxi and took me to his home. When I woke up the next day, he gave me an earful then kicked me out of his house. Damn, even I was impressed. Something that rarely happens. I went back to thank him two days later, looking and feeling more like a human being. I must have poured my heart out to him while I was drunk the night before. He told me to clean up my act. I was not being fair to people who loved me—my family. I had someone who needed and depended on me. Adrien. Those words sobered me up quickly. Do you know he signed me up for therapist sessions, too, even though he knew squat about me?”

  I laughed, remembering how stubborn he’d been about that. “I attended three sessions and never went back. I’d learned my lesson well. I’m not one for sharing, especially my life.” I lifted her hand to my lips. “I used to wonder what true love is. And I found that kind of love in you. I have my own theory. Yes, you can roll your eyes at me all you want. But I’m going with this, something my mother told me a long time ago. When you find that one person who makes you trip and fall, unable to take your eyes off her, you’ve found the love of your life. Love is what remains when we let our reservations melt away, when we let our demons come out to play. Please come back to me. I need you.”

  And I wish I knew who you truly are. Not that it’d stop me from saying yes to you.

  The door creaked softly behind me, pulling me away from my thoughts. I turned around and saw my mother, standing on the threshold. Everyone knew Estelle St. Germain for her elegance and stoicism, but she looked nothing like those two words as she left the doorway and walked toward me, her gaze moving from me to Selene and then back to me. Laying Selene’s hand back on the bed, I rose and went to her.

  “Oh, mon fils,” she said as she embraced me. “I arrived at the château, and as soon as I heard what happened, I drove here. How are you holding up?”

  I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair. “I’ve never been this terrified in my life,” I murmured under my breath. She touched my cheek, and I leaned my head into her palm.

  “How is Adrien? Where is he?” she asked as she dropped her hand, stepped around me and walked toward the bed.

  “One of my staff took him to a playground.” I followed her and stopped beside her, anxious about this meeting between my mother and Selene.

  She frowned, her eyes scrutinizing every inch of Selene’s face. I heard her breath catch before she turned to look at me with wide eyes. Dropping her handbag on the chair I’d vacated, she motioned for me to follow her out of the room. Once outside, she braced her hands on her hips and took a deep breath as she always did when she was upset and was trying to control herself.

  “What in God’s name are you doing? Please tell me you haven’t gone back to . . .” She shook her head as if to dispel the words.

  I grabbed her hands quickly in mine. “No, no. It’s not like that.”

  She clenched her jaw. “What is it like, then? I thought you stopped this years ago.”

  “She’s different. I know what you are thinking right now, but I assure you that’s not my reason why I’m with her.” Although my thoughts kept wandering to the last conversation I had with Gilles.

  Who are you, Selene?

  “Is that the reason you were reluctant to introduce us before?”

  “No.” I took a deep breath, wondering how I would explain to her that Selene was different from all the women I had dated before. And that I hadn’t gone back to how I was after Colette died. “She understands me. She’s so good to me and Adrien, and I feel a connection to her I’ve never felt with anyone else.”

  “Connection.” She repeated that word as if weighing it on her tongue. “What kind of connection?”

  “Just trust me, Maman.”

  Talking another deep breath, she opened the door to Selene’s room and entered. I followed her, wondering what she was thinking. She halted in front of Selene. “Do you love her?” she whispered, without looking at me.

  “Yes,” I said. “I have never been so certain about anything in my life.”

  At this, she turned around to look at me, her searching gaze filled with disbelief. She scoffed. “You love her? Remington, this isn’t love. You probably love the idea of her because she resembles Colette.”

  “I love her,” I repeated again firmly. “She’s very different from Colette. I’ve gotten to know her the past few weeks.”

  “What about Adrien? You have protected him all these years from meeting women you dated. Doesn’t he count? I’ve never seen you this focused on a woman before her.”

  “I’ve never seen Adrien so happy. I’ve never been so sure about anything as much as I am with Selene. It sounds insane, oui?”

  She strode toward a chair next to the wall
and sat down, burying her head in her hands. “I don’t know how I feel about this yet. Please don’t think I disapprove of you getting involved with a woman. But we’ve been through this before. I witnessed what it did to you and that is something I never want to see you go through again.” She dropped her hands and fixed her gaze on mine, eyes riddled with pain and worry. She seemed to have aged ten years between entering the room and seeing Selene.

  Merde!

  I had brought this on her. She had already dealt with so much shit from me. But I had to make her understand what I felt for Selene was beyond her looks. She had slipped through my defenses and carved a place in my heart no other woman had ever done. I did not intend to remove her from that place.

  “I hope you understand I only want the best for you. May I ask how you two met?”

  I pulled over the chair I’d been sitting on before and placed it next to my mother’s. God, I loved this woman. She had fought hard for me; she had protected me my entire life. I knew she was looking out for me. But what I felt for Selene, it was primal. Indescribable.

  “The first time I met her was at the hotel she was supposed to spend the next three months at during her stay in Paris.” I proceeded to tell her what happened after that. She continued to stare at me, absorbing my words without a reaction.

  “What about her family? Do they know what happened?”

  “I called her younger sister yesterday to check on some information the doctor needs. I didn’t exactly tell her what happened. I will deal with that when she arrives in a few days.”

  “Mon Dieu, this is a mess. What about her parents? Will they be coming, too?”

  I raked a hand down my face. “They will be visiting shortly, as soon as the doctor clears her mother for travel.”

  “So she’ll be going back to the United States,” she stated. “How will you handle it when she’s gone?”

  Fucking good question.

  My heart sped up at the thought of never seeing Selene again, but quickly dismissed those thoughts. I couldn’t allow myself to think like that. I needed to stay positive for the sake of Adrien and Selene. And for my sanity, I needed her, and Adrien did as well. I suspected she needed us as much as we needed her, damn it.